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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153607">Things I'll Never Say.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieB93/pseuds/JamieB93'>JamieB93</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blood Feud [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, F/M, Harley Keener &amp; Peter Parker Friendship, Harley Keener &amp; Peter Parker are Siblings, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kid Harley Keener, Kid Harry Osborn, Kid Peter Parker, M/M, Norman Osborn Being a Jerk, Norman Osborn's A+ parenting, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Harley Keener, Protective Harry Osborn, Protective Peter Parker, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Underage Rape/Non-con, but i also don't, i feel bad about it, just peter suffering for 20k words, this is so long oops, tony is in like 1 scene in this sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:47:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieB93/pseuds/JamieB93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things Peter will never say.</p><p>He'll never say that he knows Harry and Johnny sneak cigarrettes on a daily basis. He'll never say that Harley is stashing food in his room to mask his eating disorder. He'll never say that Tony Stark's pep talks are well meaning but have room for improvement. </p><p>And he'll certainly never say that Skip, the man he's grown up trusting more than anyone, has hurt him in the worst possible way. </p><p>[Part 6 of a planned series called Blood Feud]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Parker &amp; Peter Parker, Harley Keener &amp; Harry Osborn, Harley Keener &amp; Peter Parker, Harry Osborn &amp; Johnny Storm, Harry Osborn &amp; Norman Osborn, Harry Osborn &amp; Peter Parker, Mary Parker &amp; Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) &amp; Peter Parker, Norman Osborn &amp; Peter Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Johnny Storm, Peter Parker &amp; Richard Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Skip Westcott</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blood Feud [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Things I'll Never Say.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>OK this is nearly 20k words and I wish it wasn't so long but that's the world we live in. This is the cut down version, the original was almost 25k and I just felt like I couldn't justify that but utlimately I am pleased with what we've got here. The last third really punches me in the gut.</p><p>Just to warn, the most disturbing thing that will happen to any of the child characters occurs in this chapter. It is to do with sexual abuse and whilst the assault itself is not shown, it is heavily referenced in the aftermath. So please be careful if you know this is something that might affect you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Blood Feud</strong>: The Gathering Storm.</p><p>
  <span class="u"><strong>Part Six</strong>: Things I’ll Never Say.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>Sunday, 10th August 2008, Osborne Manner, Long Island, New York.</em>
</p><p>Peter would never say it, but this birthday party sucked. None of his friends from school had been invited and the only other kids present were the sons and daughters of snooty board members that his Dad had invited so he could talk to their parents. He felt bad because he knew his Mom and Aunt May had put a lot of time into trying to make the party as special as possible for him but he really wished they’d taken a closer look at the guest list. No Ned. No Abraham or Remy or Betty. Not even Michelle, whose Dad was a board member, had been invited. Not that Peter really minded, Michelle kind of scared him, but at least she would have been a familiar face!</p><p>Still, he had his brothers. Harry was off god knows where probably making out with someone’s daughter despite the fact he already had a girlfriend named Tiffany, so Peter was content to spend some time with his little brother. Harley was sitting alone, as usual, and staring out over the lake behind their house when Peter approached him and handed him a slice of birthday cake. Harley’s eyes beamed for a second but the fell back into his usual anxiety when he was presented with extra helpings of food. Peter cringed. He’d heard Aunt May and his Mom talking earlier about how Harley needed to eat more and Peter agreed, his little brother was skinny. And not healthy skinny. The kind of skinny that made you look like you wanted to take a nap all the time.</p><p>“No thanks, I already had some” Harley muttered as Peter hopefully held out the bowl for him to take, “Daddy says I shouldn’t be greedy.”</p><p>“Greedy? Have you seen the size of that thing?” Peter asked, jerking his head back to point out the ridiculously big Birthday cake that had been ordered in and still stood largely uneaten despite pretty much everyone having a slice, “You might as well have another piece, Harls, it’s just a waste if you don’t.”</p><p>Harley frowned and shook his head.</p><p>“Not hungry” he lied.</p><p>“Untrue” Peter replied softly, “You barely touched your breakfast and you didn’t have any lunch either, now please have some cake with me. It is my birthday after all, you kinda have to do what I tell you.”</p><p>“Fine” Harley sighed as he finally took the bowl and the fork and joined in a now smiling Peter eating his second slice of cake, “Are you having a good time, doesn’t seem like many of your actual friends are here?”</p><p>“You’re here” Peter replied with a shrug, “And Harry. That’s enough. Ned wants to give me his present when it’s just the two of us anyway. I don’t know why but that makes me feel quite nervous.”</p><p>Harley giggled as he carried on digging into his cake and Peter really couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched. If Harley did need to eat more, then Peter would make sure he did and do it in a way that didn’t make him feel bad about it. It was silly, really, for Harley to avoid food. You needed food to keep you alive.</p><p>“That was nice” Harley admitted once he finished.</p><p>“Told you” Peter said with a smile, “Are you having a good day?”</p><p>Harley shot him a confused look. </p><p>“Why are you asking?” he said, “It’s your birthday.”</p><p>“Doesn’t mean I can’t ask you how you are” Peter replied with a grin, “Always gotta check in with my favorite little brother.”</p><p>“I’m your only little brother” Harley smirked, “But thanks, I’m fine, I guess. I don’t really like parties.”</p><p>“That’s why I’m asking” Peter said with a grin, “Neither do I, if I had my way it’d just be us, Mom, Aunt May, Uncle Ben and Uncle Skip. No one else.”</p><p>“Sounds great” Harley said with a grin, “Hey….y’know, I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, you’re not mad are you?”</p><p>“Of course I’m not” Peter chuckled, honestly the fact that Harley had eaten that second piece of chocolate cake had been present enough, though Peter would never say that. “Spending time with you is enough?”</p><p>Harley blushed and ducked his head a little.</p><p>“Why you always gotta say such nice stuff to me?” he asked.</p><p>“Cos you deserve to hear it!” Peter said brightly, “Cos you’re awesome and I don’t think you get told how awesome you are enough.”</p><p>Peter knew that both of his brothers had quite low self-esteem which sucked because they were his favorite people on Earth and he had promised them, and himself, years ago that he would always remind them of that when they were in low moods. They always appreciated it too which made Peter feel happy and useful.</p><p>Today was no different, as Harley smiled and threw himself in Peter’s arms. Though he was always happy to give his little brother a hug, it also made him feel sad nowadays because it reminded him of how skinny his brother had become. It drove Peter crazy that no one else seemed to notice what was happening to Harley, but there were a lot of things that went on at home that no one except Peter seemed to notice. He’d got used to it so much that he never even pointed them out anymore, what was the point? Nothing was going to change. The best thing he could do was look after his brothers.</p><p>“Thanks, Petey” Harley smiled in his arms, “You’re so nice.”</p><p>Nice. Peter already knew that he hated that word. It’s what everyone said about him. They would say that Harry was so handsome, Harley was so cute and that Peter was just so nice and had really good manners. As if it somehow made him more worthy or better than his brother when he very obviously wasn’t. Harry and Harley were just as nice as Peter was, if not nicer, but it was Peter who wore the nice label. Still, he didn’t have it in him not to be nice, especially not towards Harley.</p><p>“Like I said, always gotta look out for my favorite little brother” he joked.</p><p>“And I gotta look out for my favorite older brother” Harley replied before gasping and recoiling from the hug, “Ha! No, I didn’t mean….I love Harry but-but you, you’re-“</p><p>“Harley, it’s fine, relax” Peter assured the boy. This wasn’t the first time Harley had accidentally said such a thing when it was just the two of them alone together. “You love me and Harry the same, I know that. It was just a mistake.”</p><p>Harley frowned and hunched his shoulders back up, always a tell-tale sign that he was now uncomfortable and would probably just like to be left alone. Sadly, his prayers would not be answered as their Uncle Skip arrived on the scene not five seconds later with a cheer before hugging Peter and lifting him off his feet, twisting him around until Peter felt dizzy. Harley just kind of stood, dazed, and confused, whilst Peter laughed and was put back down on the grass.</p><p>Uncle Skip was one of Peter’s other favorite people. He was Peter’s Dad’s best friend from college and had been around for as long as Peter could remember. They had a special bond. Uncle Skip always said it was because he had been the one with Peter’s mother when she went in labor with him and had been made his godfather as well. Whatever it was, Peter was grateful that Uncle Skip paid him so much attention, because he never got that much from his Dad. Not that he would have necessarily wanted it. When their Dad paid attention to Harry, his older brother would walk away with a new bruise somewhere on his body. When he would pay attention to Harley, Peter would watch as his little brother’s once brimming self-confidence was chipped away again and again. So he took what he got from Uncle Skip.</p><p>Peter knew that Uncle Skip loved his brothers as well, but it wasn’t the same. Peter felt that they had a special bond just as much as Skip did. They had so many little inside jokes with one another and always sat next to one another at dinners and stuff like that. Skip gave the best, and longest, hugs and always gave him the best presents as well. Sometimes the presents were so cool that Skip made him promise not to let his brothers know he had them or they would get jealous. Peter didn’t really like to lie because his Mom and Aunt May always said it was bad but Skip had explained to him a million times now that there was a big difference between lying about something and just not telling someone the truth. Peter wouldn’t be lying unless his mother directly asked him if Uncle Skip had bought him a secret cellphone last Christmas and he told her no.</p><p>But she would never ask that because she had no reason to. Peter knew that Uncle Skip was trusting him to be more grown up than even Harry with all the secrets they shared and he wasn’t about to let him down, so he’d become really, really good at keeping the phone a secret.</p><p>“Hey there, Harley bear” Uncle Skip chuckled as he knelt down and ruffled Harley’s hair and Peter tried to ignore the fact he felt jealous whenever Skip actually did pay one of his brothers any attention, “You’ve got a bit of cake around your mouth, bud.”</p><p>Harley gasped and quickly wiped his hand over his mouth. Peter cringed a little. Normally, he didn’t mind when Harley made little mistakes like that but it was a little embarrassing when he made them in front of Skip. Immediately, however, Peter felt bad for feeling annoyed with Harley as he could tell that being reminded of the fact he’d eaten a second piece of cake was really going to upset him. Before Peter could do anything, however, Skip had chuckled and helped Harley wipe his face off.</p><p>“Sorry” the younger boy mumbled.</p><p>“Don’t sweat it, champ” Skip replied. Another hair ruffle. “Why don’t you go and clean yourself up in the bathroom? I can keep Petey company for you.”</p><p>“OK” Harley sighed before rushing off without another word. Peter felt bad. He knew that Harley would be terribly upset and embarrassed over what had just happened but at the same time he couldn’t deny he was pleased to finally be alone with his favorite Uncle. </p><p>“Something on your mind, Einstein?” Skip asked.</p><p>“Just worried ‘bout Harley, I guess” Peter replied, “He’s been kinda sad lately and I don’t know if you noticed but he’s got like super skinny.”</p><p>“You know, now that you mention it” Skip replied, staring off to where Harley had disappeared, “He did seem like he’d lost some weight. I wouldn’t worry about it though, Einstein, it’s just a part of growing up. His body is probably just starting to change like yours and Harry’s did.”</p><p>Peter frowned. He wasn’t necessarily sure that he liked that idea. Skip rested his arms around Peter’s shoulder as he always did when they were alone and started steering him away from the crowds. He smiled; Skip always wanted to make sure it was just them whenever he gave Peter a gift. It made sense too. It was no one else’s business what Skip chose to get him for his birthday, not even his parents. Not really. </p><p>“Where are we going?” he asked Skip after walking in silence for a minute.</p><p>“Just to my car” Skip replied, “Your present is in there. I didn’t want to bring it out just in case someone saw and then our little secret would be out.”</p><p>“The phone?” Peter asked, thinking about his secret cellphone that was currently hidden underneath a loose floorboard that was situated under his bed, “Is it something to do with that?”</p><p>“All will be revealed, Einstein. Just have a little bit of patience.”  Skip said as Peter skipped along ahead of him with excitement. He knew exactly which his Uncle Skip’s car was, of course, they’d been off on countless road trips together over the years. Sometimes with Harry and Harley as well, but sometimes Skip would turn up and ask if he could ‘steal’ Peter away for a weekend. His parents always said yes. They both loved Skip – or ‘Steven’ as Peter’s Mom always called him – as much as he did. It was like having a third parent sometimes and Peter felt so lucky and so worthy because Skip paid so much attention to him.</p><p>Skip was a hot-shot lawyer in the city and Peter had been to his office a lot of times, and Skip had proudly given him a guided tour earlier in the summer. It made Peter feel so grown up. Being shown around the offices, being introduced to Skip’s co-workers, and being made to feel so clever and heard. It was one of Peter’s favorite days. </p><p>He was practically bouncing by the time Skip reached his own car, unlocking it and watching with amusement as Peter jumped into the passenger seat. Skip got behind the driving wheel and reached under his seat, pulling out a plastic bag and handing it over to Peter. The boy gasped as he dove in and unwrapped what was inside. A new iPhone.</p><p>“How did you-?” Peter asked quickly, “This is like….state of the art. Thank you Uncle Skip! This is so awesome!”</p><p>“You’re very welcome, Einstein” Skip said with a smile, as he ruffled his hair, “Just remember, same rules as last time, OK? This stays between me and you. If only because I haven’t got the cash to get both of your brothers their own if they find out you have it. OK?”</p><p>Peter nodded, practically bouncing in his seat.</p><p>“Can I start texting my friends on this one?” he asked, “They’ve all got phones and their parents let them text each other and sometimes it makes me feel left out because I’m not allowed to let anyone know that I even have a phone. Could we maybe tell Mom and Dad, and just not tell my brothers?”</p><p>Skip gave Peter a sad look and sighed, making the eleven-year old’s heart drop a little. He hated it when this happened. Most of the time that Peter got to spend with his Uncle Skip was awesome but there were some times when Peter said or did something stupid and it made Skip do this thing where he’d get all sad and distant towards Peter and make him feel like crap. Which seemed fair because Peter was a pretty annoying person if he did say so himself. </p><p>This was one of those moments.</p><p>The older man groaned and rested his head on the steering wheel before sighing and looking at Peter in a disappointed way for a few seconds of extremely uncomfortable silence. Peter sank down in his seat a little and struggled to make eye-contact with his uncle. He was so stupid. So, so fucking stupid. He’d already managed to make him angry and they’d been together for about six minutes. Peter practically whimpered as Skip sighed once again.</p><p>“You know, I don’t call you Einstein for nothing, Peter” he said angrily, “I say it because you’re meant to be smart, hell I know you are smart, so was that a smart thing to say? Tell me, was it?”</p><p>“No” Peter whimpered, though he didn’t really understand why what he’d said has been so wrong, “I-I’m sorry Uncle Skip, it was a dumb idea. Sorry.”</p><p>“You’re meant to be mature, Peter” Skip sighed, “That’s the reason I bother with you and not the others. You are special, there’s something about you that makes you stand out, please don’t ruin by being as dumb as all the kids your age-“</p><p>“I’m not” Peter cried, “I’m sorry Uncle Skip, I-I don’t know why I said it, I just-do you want the phone back?”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Do you want me to give you the phone back?” Peter asked desperately, wanting more than anything to make this better, “I’ll give you it back. You’re right. You’re right, you-I’m not-“</p><p>“No, I don’t want the phone back, Peter” Skip said impatiently, “God? Aren’t you meant to be turning a year older today, why are you acting like a little kid again?”</p><p>“I’m sorry” Peter carried on crying, “I’m really sorry, I-I don’t know what to-just tell me what to say and I’ll s-say it Uncle Skip. Please.”</p><p>Skip seemed to take mercy on him at that point. His face softened and he stroked Peter’s cheeks with affection before working his way up to giving the boy an encouraging smile. </p><p>“It’s OK, Petey, please don’t cry” he said softly, “I’m sorry, I should know better than to react like that by now, you’re never going to stop making stupid mistakes like that so I need to learn to get better at managing them. You’re incredibly lucky you’re my special boy.”</p><p>Peter smiled and nodded a little as Skip wiped some of the tears from his cheeks. </p><p>“I’m sorry” he repeated once again.</p><p>“You’re forgiven” Skip replied with a smile, “But remember, the reason you have this phone is because I know I can trust you with it. We can talk anytime we want without having to worry about other people. I can be there for you when your Dad upsets you, Petey, do you really wanna throw that away?”</p><p>Peter shook his head violently, desperately. God no. He didn’t want to lose his channel to Skip, he was sure he wouldn’t have got through the last few months without him. Being able to pour his heart out to Skip had made dealing with all of his worries so much at home and if the only condition was that he couldn’t tell anyone about the cellphone well….was that really too much to ask? Peter knew Skip was a busy man because of his job and that he was lucky he even spared him a second of his time.</p><p>It was a confusing condition, but it was one Peter was willing to meet if it meant he got to keep Skip. He’d be lost without his god father.</p><p>“So, we’re good, OK?” Skip told him softly, kind like he was ninety percent of time, “You’re still my special, favorite boy and I trust you. Just….you have to do what I tell ya, Pete. You might be mature for your age but I’m still the grown-up here, OK?”</p><p>“OK” Peter replied with a smile, feeling a lot lighter, “I promise I won’t tell anyone about the phone. It’ll be our secret, like always-“</p><p>“Good boy” Skip said, “And Happy Birthday, by the way. I just realized I hadn’t said that yet.”</p><p>“Thanks” Peter said, feeling much better they were back to normal and his mistake had been apparently forgiven, “Especially for the phone, it’s so cool, what should I with the old one though?”</p><p>“You should probably get rid of it” Skip sighed, “Throw it in a river or something, just transfer the texts over or something, I don’t want you to lose what we had before. Do you think you can do that?”</p><p>Honestly, Peter had no idea if he could. Could you even transfer texts from one phone to the other? Wouldn’t he need a computer or something? But he’d already upset Skip once today with his stupidity so he wasn’t about to do it again. Peter smiled and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I can do that” he replied.</p><p>“That’s great” Skip said with a smile as he took the phone out of Peter’s hands, “I do want you to enjoy this Pete, it is your birthday present, but I’m the one paying for it so please don’t be using it to get on the Internet or anything like that. And I’ll be able to check.”</p><p>“OK” Peter blinked as he replied, he had no idea he would even be able to use the phone to get on the internet. He kind of wished Skip hadn’t done that as now all Peter could think of doing was browsing the Internet late at night on the phone after everyone else had gone to sleep. </p><p>“You’re a good boy, Einstein” Skip said and Peter grinned, he knew he was really out of trouble if Skip’s favorite nickname for him was back, “I know I can trust you.”</p><p>They hugged. They hugged a lot, and often for a long time. Skip liked to hug and Peter liked to be hugged, his Dad wasn’t much of a hugger, so whenever he got a hug from Skip or Uncle Ben it felt like he was making up for it somehow. Their hugs were different though. Ben’s were a lot softer, Peter never felt safer than when Ben embraced him but despite that, he much preferred Skips. Uncle Skip would rub circles on his back, move his hands up and down Peter’s spine and they always lasted longer. It made Peter feel important, like somehow he was giving his god father something back as well. Sometimes it felt more like he was hugging Skip than Skip was hugging him.</p><p>They stayed like that for a few minutes before breaking apart and Skip placed a hand on Peter’s knee and looked directly into his eye.</p><p>“I love you, Einstein” he said, “You make me so happy. Knowing that I can talk to you every day is honestly what gets me through most weeks. My big, strong, brave, special boy and you’re growing up so nicely. You are going to be a little heartbreaker in a few years, y’know?”</p><p>Peter frowned. That was one thing Skip liked to talk about a lot that made him feel kind of uncomfortable, like he was expected to start dating soon or something and Peter knew he wasn’t ready for that. He hadn’t even had his first kiss yet. But still, he guessed it was a compliment and it was better than being told he was ugly but he didn’t like it and he wished Skip wouldn’t say it. Not that he would ever tell is god father it made him uncomfortable, that would be rude and would probably just upset him.</p><p>“We should probably get back to the party” Peter said, “Mom will be wondering where I am.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right” Skip replied and they left the car. As they were walking up the driveway back to the house, Peter’s heart stopped in his chest when he saw his Mom and his Uncle Rich having a conversation on the front doorstep that seemed almost like an argument. Skip seemed to notice this too as he coughed loudly and then gestured to Peter’s Mom that he was there when they were in earshot, another thing adults did that Peter noticed but they didn’t realize.</p><p>“Oh hey, sweetie” Mom said sweetly as Peter arrived. He’d hidden the phone in the back pocket of his jeans which was hidden from view by the ends of his jacket, “What’re you doing out here? Have you been crying? You look upset, gorgeous.”</p><p>“I’m err-“ Peter stuttered.</p><p>“Think the party was getting a bit much for him, noise wise” Skip filled in quickly and Peter was grateful because he was not good at thinking on his feet, “Found him as I was driving in having a little cry, but we’re all better now, right champ?”</p><p>Skip patted Peter on the back and he jerked forward a little.</p><p>“Yeah, totally fine, just noise” he squeaked as he looked up at his mother’s smiling but concerned face. This was definitely lying and he hated himself for it, “Sorry.”</p><p>He was immediately wrapped up in a hug by his Mom as his Uncle Rich and Uncle Skip awkwardly nodded at one another. According to Aunt May, they’d never liked one another that much ever since they were all in college together. </p><p>“Don’t be sorry, baby, it’s not your fault” Mom said sadly as she ran her hand across his forehead, “You don’t feel too warm, were you feeling dizzy?”</p><p>“No, no just noise” Peter replied somewhat honestly. This is why he hated lying. Now his Mom was worried he was going to have a stupid fit and have to go to hospital with his Dad and stupid Mr. Beck again. Peter hated when that happened. He never remembered much from the hospital except being in pain and having to be held down so he didn’t hurt anyone, apparently his fits were really violent. One time he’d cut his stomach open and had to have stitches there but his Dad made him swear not to say anything to his Mom about it because she’d only worry. </p><p>To this day, no one had ever seen. Peter never took his shirt off in front of anyone now. He even wore a swim shirt when they went in the pool, saying he was worried about getting sun burned, but instead he was covering up his secret stitches. Luckily now that he was 11, it was even less likely that any of the adults in his life would need to see him change, anyway.</p><p>The only other person who knew about the scars was, of course, Uncle Skip.</p><p>“OK” Mom replied, not sounding so sure but smiling as she turned her attentions to Skip, “And sorry I didn’t say hello yet Steven, lovely to see you as ever.”</p><p>Skip leaned in and gave Peter’s Mom a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“You are glowing” he told her, “Isn’t she glowing, Rich?”</p><p>“I need to get back inside” Uncle Rich replied before taking one last lingering look at Peter, which confused the boy, before heading back inside.</p><p>“That dude still has no social skills” Uncle Skip noted as Richard walked away, “Who would have thought it? After twenty years.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t mind him” Mom replied playfully, “How have you been? We didn’t really get a chance to catch up at dinner last night.”</p><p>“Lady Liberty never sleeps” Skip replied brightly, “You know, I really should come around and see you more often, Mary. My weekly lunches with Norman are nice but the man is hardly a stickler for detail. The best I get when I ask after you and the boys is a court ‘they’re alive, I guess’”</p><p>Peter felt bad for his Mom in that moment. He knew that their Dad did not appreciate her enough and Peter didn’t like that someone as awesome and pretty as his Mom was stuck with their Dad, who was neither of those things. Peter kept all of those thoughts to himself though. They were mean and hurtful and if he said them out loud, it would make everyone see what a lying jerk he really was. Plus, his Dad terrified him and he didn’t want Norman to do to him what he did to Harry.</p><p>As if summoned by the mere mention of his name, Peter’s father suddenly appeared in the doorway and actually smiled as his best friend came into view.</p><p>“Skip” he said proudly, shaking his hand, “Glad you could make it, sorry we didn’t get much of a chance to talk last night.”</p><p>“We’ll make up for it this afternoon, I’m sure” Skip replied as he ruffled Peter’s hair, “I’m sure Petey here has some friends he wants to go and play with for a while?”</p><p>It was clearly a hint. Actual adult time, actual adult conversations and it made Peter feel a little dejected but he didn’t really mind as he was keen to go and hide his new phone. He was sorely tempted to ask Ned and a few other people for their numbers at school and see if he could get away with it. Skip wouldn’t be able to literally check all of Peter’s texts, surely? And Peter needed to have more friends. He had Ned, yeah, and Abraham and Remy were nice too but that was it. No one really paid attention to him otherwise, not like Harry, who was pretty much the most popular kid in school. Maybe if Peter was able to actually communicate with people when they weren’t at school he’d have a better chance at making more friends. Maybe he’d be able to funnier, quicker, and less painfully shy over text message? But was it worth the potential of losing his Uncle Skip over? Peter didn’t want to let the man down, didn’t want to make him angry, didn’t want to stop being his special boy. Skip made him feel better than having a thousand friends his own age could. </p><p>Peter’s Mom gave him a worried look as he scurried away but he ignored it. There was nothing actually wrong with him and he was sure he wouldn’t scare her by failing again, so he carried on. Once Peter had rushed to his bedroom, hidden his new phone in a shoe box on top of his wardrobe and checked that Harley hadn’t rushed back upstairs to hide in the absence of his two elder brothers. Instead, Peter came across Harry, curled up with his knees raised to his chest at the foot of his bedroom door, crying with a freshly new bruise underneath his eye.</p><p>Silently, Peter sighed and simply sat down next to his big brother, who desperately reached out and waved his hand around for Peter to take and squeeze. He complied. Harry sniffed and carried on crying. They never needed to talk in moments like this. Peter knew. And it was why he knew he couldn’t let Skip go because seeing Harry like this tore Peter to pieces but he needed to be strong for his big brother, he couldn’t put his pain on Harry or Harley. Not if Skip was there and willing to take that place. Peter needed him, more than ever.</p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Monday, 10th November 2008, Midtown Junior High School, Queens, New York.</em>
</p><p>Lying had become second nature to Peter. He was constantly lying. Something had changed with Uncle Skip at some point, now when Peter received a text message from his god father it filled him with a sense of dread rather than one of comfort. He wasn’t exactly sure when the change had occurred but nothing had really been all that good since Peter’s birthday. Peter had had another stupid seizure that night and scared everyone and had to take a few days to recover which meant he didn’t text Skip or get rid of the previous phone like his god father had asked him to. </p><p>Harley had suggested, very sweetly, that they had a camping night a few days later to cheer Peter up which Skip had turned up at. Because Peter let him know, he wanted to see his god father for a bit of comfort, but Skip had treated him coldly all night once he found out Peter had not yet had a chance to get rid of his old phone and switch the messages over. It had only gotten worse a few weeks later when Peter finally gave up on trying to figure it out and just got rid of the phone without saving the messages. Skip had been pretty furious about that one, he hadn’t spoken to Peter for weeks because of it. Peter spent so many hours locked in his bedroom just obsessively texting Skip over and over and over again to try and apologize. He even went as far as to try and fish his old cell out of the dumpster he’d thrown it into but it was already gone. It had been an awful few weeks but eventually Skip started talking to him again. </p><p>Then, Harley found out about the phone</p><p>And then, Peter accidentally let it slip that Harley knew about the phone. That had been bad. What made it worse was that it had been a total accident as well. Peter had overheard his Dad and Mr. Beck making fun of Harley’s weight again and calling him a pig which made Peter feel mad because Harley was still losing weight and was now so thin that sometimes he started to shake and wobble if he stood up for too long. It was becoming a really big problem and Peter was dealing with his fears for his little brother by venting to Skip, who had actually been supportive up until that point. He’d even reacted with disgust when Peter told him that Norman had taken to calling Harley ‘Pudge’ when their mother wasn’t around. Truthfully, Peter had done this partly because he knew his Dad listened to and respected Skip and he was hoping that if Skip said something, Norman would stop.</p><p>But Skip hadn’t said anything because that might give the phone away. It was during one of these pained conversations that Peter accidentally let it slip that Harley had walked in on him using the phone and then Skip had really fallen out with him. Silence was silence but this one felt different. Peter knew he’d crossed a major line letting Harley find out about the phone, even if he hadn’t told his little brother about it having anything to do with Skip and Harley had agreed to keep it a secret. Peter had tried every way he could think of to backtrack but the damage was done and Peter had gone a full three weeks without so much as a word from his god father, three weeks that Peter spent privately spiraling.</p><p>Then, out of the blue, the previous Thursday, Skip had told Peter to make sure he was home alone the next day so he could come to the house and talk. Peter deliberately hid in the attic until he heard the last of his family leave and then the next thing he knew, Skip was just walking in the front door and demanding Peter come down and explain himself. Peter had only been halfway through his explanation when May Parker arrived back at the penthouse and promptly collapsed into tears. Skip left whilst Peter ran upstairs to see what was wrong with her. </p><p>That night, Skip had text to say he’d asked Peter’s parents if he could pick him up from school on Monday and take him out for dinner. To Peter’s surprise, they’d declined, but Skip was allowed to pick Peter up from school and drive him home. Needless to say, Peter was quite nervous about it.</p><p>As he walked down the hallway at the end of the day to meet Skip outside, Peter found himself wondering into an empty classroom and sitting down on a table. He wondered how his life got so complicated, as well as his own stuff, he was keeping secrets for Harry – who had taken up smoking with Johnny Storm – and Harley – who had a secret stash of food in his bedroom – as well. </p><p>“Yo, Osborne Number Two, school’s out, kid” Johnny Storm called from the classroom door. Peter, who had been staring at the whiteboard thinking, blinked, and looked towards his older brother’s new best friend. It wasn’t that he disliked Johnny, he actually really liked him but Harry had started acting a bit differently since they’d started hanging out at the start of the school year. Like he was always trying to impress Johnny by doing bad things, even if Johnny himself wasn’t that bothered by them. </p><p>“Yeah, I know” Peter replied as Johnny hopped on to the desk and sat down next to him, “Just….not really in a rush to leave…”</p><p>“Nerd” Johnny smirked, “Just kidding, though Harry does tell me that you’re the smartest kid he knows, probably gonna cure cancer. Or so he thinks.”</p><p>“He talks a lot” Peter muttered back. He really wasn’t in the mood for praise. </p><p>“What’s up, Pete?” Johnny asked, “I’ve been watching you lately and I can’t help but notice that you seem like you’re really down? You good?”</p><p>Peter looked at Johnny. He really did like him. Johnny was the kind of person that everyone wanted to get to know, he seemed to draw in people wherever he went, and Peter totally understood why Harry was so willing to do so much stupid crap if it meant Johnny would be his friend. He just had this kind of magnetism that made him really approachable and before he knew what he was doing, Peter decided that he could maybe confide in Johnny about one or two things.</p><p>“Not really” he admitted, “I-err, I have this friend and he’s-I mean, he’s great, he is and I don’t know what I’d do without him b-but lately we’ve been fighting and it sucks cos it’s all my fault.”</p><p>“Who is this friend?” Johnny asked immediately, “Ned? You guys seem tight, you were laughing together at lunchtime.”</p><p>“It’s not Ned” Peter said weakly, “I-err, you-you don’t know him….just, what do I do? How do I stop being a jerk-“</p><p>“You?” Johnny chuckled, “A jerk? You, Peter Osborne, a jerk? Seriously?”</p><p>Peter frowned.</p><p>“I should have known you weren’t going to take this seriously” he sighed before reaching for his backpack and making moves to hop off the desk but Johnny stopped wheezing and reached an arm in front of Peter’s torso to stop him.</p><p>“Sorry, man, sorry” he said quickly, “It’s just-the idea of you being a jerk and upsetting someone is kind of trippy. Like, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met.”</p><p>“We barely know one another” Peter sighed.</p><p>“That just proves my point” Johnny said brightly and Peter ended up smirking and blushing a little, kind of liking the positive attention from Johnny, who had a very nice smile, “Look, you don’t gotta tell me it all, but if a friend is treating you like shit then they’re not a real friend and I don’t believe that you’re the one in the wrong….not at all.”</p><p>Peter frowned. It was all his fault though, he was the jerk and he was the reason that Skip was so angry, he was the one who needed to apologize.</p><p>“But I-“</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure they’ve made you believe you’ve done something wrong” Johnny said bitterly, “Like you said, Pete, we don’t really know one another but….I-I’ve had a lot of bad shit happen to me and I can tell you that some people are really smart and they make you think you’ve said one thing when you haven’t. Or make you do something and then act like they didn’t. It’s called manipulation. I looked it up.”</p><p>Peter grinned. Something always told him that Johnny wasn’t exactly the brightest kid in school but what he might have lacked in academic smarts, he more than made up for when it came to people. Peter didn’t want to know what bad things had happened to Johnny over the years, not unless Johnny wanted to tell him that himself, but clearly something had happened which made Johnny a bit more grown up than other kids their age. </p><p>“I don’t think I’m being manipulated” Peter replied slowly.</p><p>“People who it’s happening to never do” Johnny said sadly, “But, you know yourself better than anyone else, Peter. Better than me. Better than Harry or your parents. You know deep down if you’re changing how you usually act to make someone happy and if someone makes you change who you are….then they’re not really your friend.”</p><p>“But he wants me to be a better friend” Peter cried, “He wants me to stop making dumb mistakes and be a good friend like he is to me-“</p><p>“And what dumb mistakes have you made?” Johnny asked. Peter shrugged.</p><p>“Just been dumb” he sighed.</p><p>“Peter, if you want my advice, tell this friend of yours to get lost” Johnny said bluntly, “Even if you did make a mistake, a real friend wouldn’t make you feel like crap over it. I say ditch him. You’re awesome enough to make more friends, better friends than him. Like me!”</p><p>“We’re friends?” Peter asked dumbly, “You’re Harry’s friend?”</p><p>“Of course we’re friends dumbo!” Johnny exclaimed, “You’re just as awesome with Harry and I’ve really liked hanging out with you when I’ve come over. Of course you’re my friend, and Harley’s my friend as well.”</p><p>“He’ll like that” Peter said with a smile, “He’s never really had a friend before.”</p><p>“That’s sad” Johnny sighed, “Look, you don’t have to listen to me if you don’t want to, I don’t really know your friend so I might be being wicked unfair. Just-just think about it Peter, if a friendship is making you this unhappy, you should probably ask yourself if it’s worth keeping. Friendship is like a deal thing. You make each other feel good, not just one person. Does he make you feel happy?”</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>With that, Johnny patted Peter on the knee and headed out of the classroom. Peter stared at the spot where Johnny had just been sitting for the next few minutes, his end in an absolute whirlwind. Talking to Johnny and hearing Johnny say such nice things to him made Peter’s tummy feel all funny inside. But he gave good advice. Was it worth keeping Skip around if he was going to make him this unhappy?</p><p>*</p><p>The ride back to the penthouse with Skip was awkward. Peter’s god father barely even acknowledged him as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car, twiddling his fingers, and thinking over Johnny’s words of advice as they meandered through the pre-rush hour traffic. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was he really  jerk or was Skip just trying to manipulate him? It did kind of make sense, it always felt like Peter was the one who was having to apologize to Skip about stuff, for stuff he didn’t even understand. Skip didn’t seem willing to even reason with Peter when he made even a little mistake. Was that manipulation? But why would he do that, Peter knew that Skip loved him. You don’t manipulate the people you love.</p><p>“How have the last few weeks been?” Skip eventually asked as they sat in traffic, “Thought about how you’ve let me down, or have you just been laughing and joking with Ned and your other friends?”</p><p>Peter frowned. He was honestly scared to even respond, it felt like a trap. Whatever he said, he couldn’t help but feel like Skip would have a problem with it.</p><p>“Bad, kinda” he said with a shrug, “Were you not getting my texts?”</p><p>“I blocked your number, that’s how mad you made me” Skip snarled back, “Bet you didn’t even know I could do that, did you?”</p><p>“No” Peter admitted, though it didn’t make him feel any worse. In fact, knowing that Skip hadn’t replied to him because he hadn’t even seen the messages made him feel a little better. Peter had poured his heart and soul into some of those apologies, and it made him feel good knowing Skip hadn’t just read them and chosen to ignore Peter’s heartache, he’d been genuinely unaware of it. </p><p>“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Skip demanded, “Peter, buddy, you made me so mad that I stopped talking to you. I was so angry I didn’t even want to read what you said to me. Me. The person who lives and breathes to talk to you, to help you, to make you feel better. You acted so badly that I gave up the one thing that keeps me going. Doesn’t that make you feel anything?”</p><p>Peter hung his head in shame. Sometimes, because he was dumb, he’d forget just how much he meant to Skip and that Skip would be lonely without him. That’s what Peter got from their friendship. He got to know he made Skip happy, and that made him happy as well. Just the same way that it made him feel happy when he cheered Harry and Harley up when they were sad. </p><p>
  <em>But when are you happy, Peter?</em>
</p><p>Peter tried his best to ignore the little voice in his head, which now weirdly sounded a lot like Johnny’s now he came to think of it, and solider on. His happiness didn’t matter like other people’s did. Whatever made Peter happy always seemed to make someone else miserable and that just wasn’t worth it. It would make Peter happy if he told Skip how much he scared him sometimes, but that would just make Skip feel guilty. It would make Peter happy if he could tell his Mom about the way his Dad treated his brothers, but they’d asked him not to, and Peter was sure his Mom would be unhappy if she found out what kind of a man she’d really married.</p><p>It would make Peter happy if he could tell someone that he was sure whenever he went into hospital for one of his seizures, that someone was injecting him with something that made him feel woozy and strange, and he was sure it wasn’t just painkillers. Some days Peter felt so strong he could probably lift a truck, others he felt so weak he could barely support his own bodyweight. But he could never say that. Never ever. It was all probably in his head any way.</p><p>No, it was better to be quiet. Skip’s hand, as it always did, found it’s way to Peter’s knee.</p><p>“I asked you a question, Einstein” he sighed. Peter snapped back to reality.</p><p>“I don’t know” he replied honestly, “I mean, I’m sorry that I upset you so much, but it’s not like I meant to do it, y’know? I couldn’t figure out how to make the phone work and then Harley barged into my room without knocking….it…how could I help that? I know I messed up but I never meant to upset you, Uncle Skip, I promise.”</p><p>Skip’s hand squeezed his knee, and Peter felt a little uncomfortable. It was strange. He usually didn’t mind when Skip’s hands would hold him or squeeze him, but he minded today. It felt different somehow. More aggressive, like his god father might hurt him. Peter was scared, he wanted out of the car. </p><p>“I know you didn’t, baby boy” Skip sighed as he pulled up to the house. Peter managed to hide his sigh of relief that they were back home and he could get out of the car, that would only upset Skip, “But this is why you need me, Einstein. You need me to show you how to behave properly. You can’t be my special boy if you’re just like the others, can you?”</p><p>And what’s wrong with the others? The Johnny sounding voice in Peter’s head asked. And it was right. Skip was always talking about how Peter was special because he wasn’t like the other boys his age, but Peter loved all the boys his age that he knew. Harry and Harley were the best people he knew, he loved his brothers more than anything else. Ned was his best friend and totally awesome and even Johnny was proving he was really nice as well. Hell, even Flash had his moments. What was wrong with being like the other boys? Peter didn’t want to be special if it meant he wasn’t kind and funny and smart and fun to be around like they all were.</p><p>But he knew he wasn’t like that. Not really. Everyone just thought he was because Peter made them think that way because he wanted everyone to be happy, but deep-down Peter knew that really he was just nasty and selfish and stupid. Why else would he keep making the same mistakes with Skip over and over again, but why would that make him special? Why would being so different in such a bad way make Skip want to spend time with him? To think he was special. Even if Skip was trying to fix him and make him better, that didn’t mean Peter was special. It meant he was a disappointment. </p><p>“What makes me special?” Peter asked quietly, feeling he had nothing to lose by asking, “Why do you think I’m so special?”</p><p>Skip, thankfully, smiled, and cupped Peter’s chin.</p><p>“Because you just are, Einstein” he said fondly and Peter couldn’t help but smile, “You’re my special boy because you’re so much more mature than the others. I know you can handle and understand things they can’t because you’re so clever and grown-up. You’re special because you’re mine and you know that I only surround myself with the best people, and you are one of the best people.”</p><p>Tears sparkled in Peter’s eyes as Skip kissed his nose and gestured that they should head inside now. Due to Peter’s mom attending a scan with Aunt May for company and Peter’s Dad working late, Skip had been asked to stick around and watch Peter and Harley for a few hours until May got back. Harry was staying behind at school for hockey practice and the going back to Johnny’s house for dinner. Peter was a little nervous about this as he didn’t want Skip to be mean to Harley over the phone, as that was all Peter’s fault and Harley had done a particularly good job at keeping it a secret. There was only one thing Peter could ever imagine himself getting mad at Skip for and that was if he was ever mean to either of his brothers.</p><p>“Oh Peter, you’re home” Miriam, the tutor, said brightly as Peter walked into the front room and was swept up in a hug by his former home tutor who he never saw that much anymore, “So nice to see you! My goodness, you’ve grown!”</p><p>“Hi Miriam” Peter said happily as he leaned into he hug, “I miss you.”</p><p>“Aww, I miss you two” Miriam replied with a smile as she looked up at Skip, “Gosh, isn’t this one just still the most precious thing?”. Peter smiled. </p><p>“Where’s Harley?” he asked.</p><p>“Oh, he’s just getting me and him some juice” Miriam replied, “He’s told me that we’re allowed to be friends now, which was nice of him.”</p><p>Peter smiled and cautiously sat down next to Skip who patted the seat next to him, gesturing for Peter to make the movement. Skip yawned and tucked Peter under his arm as he leaned back into the groove of the sofa whilst a beaming Harley returned with his and Miriam’s juice.</p><p>“Hi Peter, Hi Uncle Skip!” he said brightly as he passed Miriam her glass, “I woulda got you some too but you weren’t home yet.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it bud, I’m sure Petey and me can get our own soon” Skip replied as he began stroking Peter’s hair. No one batted an eye-lid, as Skip always played with Peter’s hair pretty only, but for the boy the same uncomfortable feeling he’d been having in the car minutes before had come swooping back and he squirmed to move away from his god father, who stopped him and held him in place. But it was so usual for Miriam and Harley to see Skip and Peter like this that no one commented on it and they continued to make small talk for the next half an hour until it was time for Miriam to leave. Skip’s demeanor changed for the worst the second the door was closed behind her. </p><p>Skip grabbed Peter’s arm and twisted a little once she had gone and Harley had run back upstairs to change his clothes. </p><p>“We need to talk to him” Skip said urgently</p><p>“Who?” Peter asked.</p><p>“Who?! Harley, of course” Skip snapped, “We need to make sure he’s not going to say anything about the phone you so stupidly let him find about.”</p><p>“You’re hurting me” Peter moaned, surprising himself as one of his sporadic bouts of strength hit and he was actually able to remove his arm from Skip’s clutches, “He’s known for ages and he’s not going to say anything, I already made sure.”</p><p>“Well, I need to be sure” Skip snarled, “Because you clearly can’t be trusted.”</p><p>“Why are you being like this?” Peter asked, “You were being nice five minutes ago and now you’re being all mean again, why?”</p><p>“Have you heard yourself?” Skip snapped, “’Oh why are you being mean, Uncle Skip?’ you sound like a god damn child.”</p><p>“I am a god damn child!” Peter roared before promptly shutting up when he noticed a now scared and confused looking Harley cautiously coming down the stairs, dressed in his Pyjamas. </p><p>“Why are you guys fighting?” he asked slowly.</p><p>“We’re not fighting, buddy” Skip said brightly, turning his charm back on and hammering yet another chink in Peter’s faith in him, how did he switch his moods so quickly? “Petey and me were just-“</p><p>“He yelled at you” Harley said crossly, pointing at Skip, “Peter never yells. He never even yelled at me when I dropped his Darth Vader Lego on the floor and broke it. You must have made him mad.”</p><p>Harley finished his descent of the stairs and crossed the landing to stand in front of Peter, almost as if he was guarding his big brother who stood several inches taller than him. </p><p>“Me and Peter are just having a bit of a…..disagreement, buddy” Skip said softly as he knelt down on one knee to be eye-line with Harley. He placed one hand on each of the younger boy’s arms and held him in place as Harley carried on frowning. </p><p>“Don’t” Peter said warningly.</p><p>“Harley, I need you to tell me the truth about something” Skip carried on, despite Peter’s warning, “I need you tell me if you know anything about Peter having a phone.”</p><p>Harley’s eyes widened and he looked utterly panic stricken as his head turned rapidly between Peter and Skip, trying to read both in order to give the correct reply. Peter sighed. This was manipulation. This was what Johnny had talked to him about earlier. Skip was manipulating Harley. </p><p>“No-no” Harley trembled a little as he spoke, “No, don’t-don’t know anything.”</p><p>He sent Peter a desperate look of wanting approval as he spoke that made his older brother feel sick to his stomach. Harley was so sweet. So kind. So loyal. All he wanted in life was to be happy and to be loved by the people he loved so deeply, so of course he was still willing to lie for Peter even when the jig was well and truly up. </p><p>“Harley, don’t lie, it leaves a scar on your heart” Skip said crossly. His grip on Harley’s arms tightened and the boy whimpered a little bit, “What do you know about Peter’s phone…..have, have you told anyone else about it?”</p><p>“Leave him alone” Peter shouted before getting in the middle of them, “He hasn’t said anything to anyone about your precious damn phone.”</p><p>“Wait, his phone?” Harley asked, “The friend who gave you the phone was Skip?”</p><p>Skip sighed and looked murderous as Peter’s mistake crept up on him and his lip quivered as he took a step back, fully expecting to be hit. Skip did manage to control himself though and merely took a deep breath before re-focusing his attention on Harley.</p><p>“I gave your brother a phone so that he could text me if there was ever an emergency” he explained, “I wanted him to keep it a secret because I know your folks made a rule saying no phones until you were 13, but I needed a way to make sure Petey and you and Harry were safe and it seemed like the easiest way but Peter let you find out-“</p><p>“That’s creepy” Harley said angrily, “Mama told me about grown-ups who give kids treats and make them keep it a secret. She says it’s wrong and if anyone ever tries to do it to me I should tell her.”</p><p>“Harley, that’s different” Skip sighed, “I’m not like that, you guys know me, you trust me. I’m your buddy. I’m Uncle Skip and Peter’s my-“</p><p>Peter was confused as the man stumbled over his words. He knew what Skip was going to say. He was going to say that Peter was his special boy. But for some reason he’d stopped himself, maybe because he was scared that what Harley was saying was true. That it was creepy how he gave Peter a secret phone and said they were special friends, things he’d forbidden Peter to tell anybody else. </p><p>“-He’s my godson” Skip finished and Harley did seem to be going along with his words a little, “And you gotta be careful with your words, Harls, cos people can get the wrong idea very easily.”</p><p>
  <em>Or the right idea.</em>
</p><p>“I don’t want you to be here anymore” Peter said suddenly and Skip whipped his head around to face the older of the two boys in the eye, furious, “I don’t want this phone anymore. It’s causing too much trouble and now-now, I’m wondering if you-are you-?”</p><p>“I’m just Skip, Einstein” the man tried to plead, “I’m just your Uncle Skip, you’re my boy, you-“</p><p>“I thought I was your special boy” Peter snarled as he reached in and unzipped his backpack, more or less throwing the phone at his god father, “Take this, I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want to talk to you ever again. Harley’s right, you’re a creep!”</p><p>Skip laughed as he rose to his feet and looked down at both boys, a lot more intimidating than he had been a few seconds ago. </p><p>“Can’t believe I got you this wrong, Einstein” he sighed as he looked at Peter’s phone which he now held in his own two hands, “Thought you were special. Thought you were grown-up enough to handle this, I am so disappointed in you. Keep this. I don’t want it either, or we both know it’s only gonna be a few days until you start texting me again. Begging me to forgive you.”</p><p>Peter stuttered as Skip placed the phone back in his bag and threw it at Peter.</p><p>“Uncle Skip, I-“</p><p>“You’ve broken my heart, today, both of you” he said sadly, “Thinking that I’d ever-I’m just trying to help you boys out whilst I can cos let me tell you – however dangerous you think I am, it’s nothing compared to your old man and what he gets up to. Nothing at all. I’ll see you around, kids.”</p><p>And with that, Skip left and Peter had never felt more relieved. Harley held his hand as they both raced up to Peter’s bedroom and watched Skip drive away in his car. Peter pulled the phone out of the bag once again and held it in his hand.</p><p>“You gonna tell Mom?” Harley asked.</p><p>“No.” Peter replied, “I think Skip was just trying to be kind. Even if he went about it super creepy. But I am gonna get rid of the phone.”</p><p>“Probably a good idea” Harley agreed, “Should we call Mom on the house phone and ask her when she’s gonna be back? Not really meant to be in the house on our own.”</p><p>“She’ll be back soon” Peter sighed.</p><p>They ended up laying down on Peter’s bed and watching a movie together. Peter couldn’t help but be impressed by his little brother today, Harley had been very brave and defended him and he thought that was really cool. Harley, as usual, fell asleep pretty quickly and Peter followed not long after.</p><p>The boys woke up when their Mom and Aunt returned around an hour later, both miffed that Skip had left them in the house on their own but relieved nothing had happened to the boys. Peter smiled when he heard his Mom say tha was the last time she’d asked Uncle Skip to babysit. He didn’t want to be around his god father for a while. </p><p>Neither of the boys told their Mom about why Skip had just left them on their own. They said it was something about a business meeting. They didn’t tell her about the phone or the argument either, not wanting to ruin her good mood. They’d had some nice news at the hospital. Peter’s Mom was carrying a baby girl. The boys were finally going to have a little sister. She was so happy with the news that neither Harley or Peter wanted to ruin it.</p><p>So, Peter lied again. To his Mom, and then to his brother.</p><p>He told Harley that he’d thrown the phone away. That it was gone now. It wasn’t. It was right back under the loose floorboard like it had always been. Peter didn’t really know why. He guessed he felt a little bad for implying all those things about his god father and a little part of him still wanted Skip to reach out and assure him it was all OK. That they were still friends. That Peter was still his special boy. </p><p>He looked at the phone twice a day. Once when he got up, and once more when he went to bed. Just to see if Skip texted him. He never did. </p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Wednesday, December 24th, 2008, Stark Tower, Manhattan, New York.</em>
</p><p>Christmas had always been Peter’s favourite holiday. Ever since he was little, he’d just loved the vibe of it, especially when he got to watch his family open the gifts he’d got for them. It always seemed to make them really happy so Peter put extra special effort in to getting his Mom and his brothers the perfect gifts every year, and this year he’d even got one for the little sister who was due to make her appearance any day now. Peter’s Mom was exhausted and sick of being pregnant, yet on their father’s insistence, the family plus Ben and May were attending Tony Stark’s annual Christmas Eve party in his ludicrously big skyscraper in downtown Manhattan. </p><p>Peter guessed there were worse ways to spend Christmas Eve. </p><p>The last few weeks had been strange. Peter was proud of himself for not contacting Skip and taking Johnny’s advice that friendships needed to be a two-way street but the more time went on, the more Peter was second guessing his decision. It was hard to believe that Skip wasn’t just looking out for Peter and his brothers whenever Harry would come to Peter, freshly bruised and crying his eyes out, or when Harley would have another meltdown over eating because he was convinced he was fat and about to die of heart disease or something. Moments like that really made Peter wish that he’d had Skip to turn to because it was getting harder and harder to see his brothers like that.</p><p>One thing that had been bothering Peter was why he never got such harsh treatment from his Dad. Not that the man was particularly nice to Peter, but he’d never hit him and he’d never made Peter feel insecure or bad about his appearance. Harley had one time moaned that Peter was his parents favorite and Peter had wanted to deny it but it was hard when he was the only brother not sporting any bruises. </p><p>“You want me to get you anything, Mom?” Harry asked once he’d help their mother sit down on some couches laid out at the back of the party, “I could get you a drink or maybe some fruit? Do you want another pillow?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine honey, thank you” Mom replied with a smile. Harry had become somewhat obsessive over their mother’s pregnancy welfare in the last few weeks and no one really knew why, but he was pretty much waiting on her hand and foot, “You boys go off and enjoy yourself. Let your tired, fat mama sit here in peace.”</p><p>“We’d rather stay with you” Harley said innocently. Mom smiled. </p><p>“Aww, honey, that’s sweet” she sighed, “But Dad needs you guys to go and be your effortlessly charming selves tonight”</p><p>“Yeah, be yourselves, nothing more nothing less” May added with a smirk, “Which means go and create whatever mayhem you want. It’s Christmas Eve.”</p><p>“We’re past caring” Mom told them, “And if someone just so happens to accidentally tip an entire tray of shrimp down Beck’s pants, that honestly wouldn’t be the worst thing.”</p><p>Peter grinned as Harry spotted Johnny with his sister and her husband and ran off to go and say hello, apparently fickle in the face of his best friend stepping into the room. Sensing their mother really did want to be left alone for a while, Peter steered Harley in Harry and Johnny’s direction.</p><p>“Hey guys!” Johnny said enthusiastically once they’d reached him, “I didn’t know y’all were gonna be here, I thought Tony Stark and your guys’ dad hate one another.”</p><p>“Dad hates pretty much everyone except Peter” Harry smirked, “And apparently this is like a good opportunity for him to impress people or something.”</p><p>“Are you guys looking forward to Christmas, Johnny?” Harley asked. </p><p>“Yeah, just me, Reed and Sue. Quiet but nice.” Johnny replied. “You doing good over there, Pete? You seem quiet.”</p><p>“Just not a fan of parties” Peter shrugged, “It’s cool being around all of these science people and stuff but they’re not gonna care about me.”</p><p>“Why not?” Johnny asked brightly, “You never know until you try, at the very least they might all admire the fact you’re a fan of theirs.”</p><p>“He’s right, Pete. Mingle.” Harry said with a smile, “It’s pretty much impossible for anyone to dislike you anyway, what do you have to lose?”</p><p>“What about Harley?” Peter asked, aware their younger brother was looking panicked at the prospect of either Peter leaving him or sticking by Peter as he tried to make conversation with loads of strangers. </p><p>“Harley can hang with us!” Johnny said enthusiastically, Harley smiled and leaned in to the hug that Johnny invited him too. The boy had cried when he learned that Johnny considered him a friend and now he was pretty open about thinking Johnny was the coolest person on the planet. Peter wondered if Harry ever got a little bit annoyed that his little brothers had co-opted his best friend but if he was he never showed it, and he never told Peter. And they told one another everything.</p><p>Soon, Peter Osborne found himself mingling for the first time and was surprised when it was actually going well. He spoke to Bruce Banner, Pepper Potts, and Reed Richards with ease before bumping into Christine Everhart, who gave him a tight hug and asked after him and his brothers very keenly, and her boss J. Jonah Jameson who seemed to view him with at least mild suspicion. At one point, Peter noticed his Dad looking at him from the other side of the room and actually gave him a smile and a nod, which was about the most positive thing Peter had ever received from his father and it made him feel like he was on cloud nine. </p><p>“Uncle Rich!” Peter said excitedly as he noticed Richard Parker talking with some guests just a few feet away from him, “I didn’t know you were coming, no one ever said!”</p><p>“Hey kid, good to see ya” Richard replied with a smile, “How’re you feeling? That last seizure was a doozy, ha?”</p><p>“Yeah, not great” Peter said uneasily, that being the last thing he’d wanted to discuss, “That’s the only time I’ve seen you for ages, why don’t you come around for dinner anymore?”</p><p>“Just been super busy, kiddo” Richard replied, “I’m spending Christmas with some friends as it goes, so I won’t see you guys tomorrow. I’ve left some presents with your Uncle Ben though.”</p><p>“Did you get one for the baby?” Peter asked keenly, “Cos I did. I made her some little mittens cos I figure if she’s born now she’ll be cold for the first few months of her life…”</p><p>Richard smiled and ruffled Peter’s hair.</p><p>“That’s very sweet, kid” he said, “You’re gonna be the best big brother in the world to that little girl. I know she is just going to adore you, like everyone else does.”</p><p>“I miss you” Peter whined, “It sucks that you’re too busy, I might have to shout at my Dad.”</p><p>“Really?” Richard smirked, “Don’t worry about it, Pete. I’m fine. Really.”</p><p>Peter frowned at Richard. Why did adults lie so often and why were so many of them bad at it? Richard was clearly not fine. Peter had always liked how his Uncle Rich had deep blue eyes but looking at them now they seemed kind of grey and his smile seemed fake. </p><p>So, he just hugged Richard and hoped that made him smile for real.</p><p>“Love you, Uncle Rich” he said, “Happy Christmas!”</p><p>“Happy Christmas, Pete” Richard replied as someone whom Peter had also not expected to see came into his view, and someone that Peter didn’t necessarily want to see.</p><p>Steven Westcott.</p><p>“Well, this is cozy” Skip said with a cough as Richard and Peter’s hug broke apart. Peter all but gasped as he looked up at his god father, “Rich, are we going to finish that chat later? Very illuminating.”</p><p>“Err, yeah, sure” Richard said awkwardly, “Just-I’ve gotta, go and catch up with Ben, so come and find me later OK? I’ll see ya around, Peter-“</p><p>“Bye” Peter said meekly, not really wanting Richard to leave and for him to be left alone with Skip who was eyeing him up and down in an incredibly judgemental way that made Peter feel very exposed. Unconsciously, Peter crossed his arms over his chest and took a more defensive stance than his usual open one. </p><p>“Hey, Einstein, long time no see” Skip sighed, “Didn’t expect you guys to be here tonight. Norman’s not exactly a fan of Tony Stark.”</p><p>Peter shrugged.</p><p>“Your Mom looks….ready” he carried on, “She’s just given me one hell of a talking too for not coming around much lately, nice to know she’s still-“</p><p>“What do you want?” Peter asked.</p><p>“What do I want?” Skip blanched, “Oh, are we finally ready to talk about what I want, Peter? Are you finally over your little hissy fit, need I remind you that you accused me of being-“</p><p>“I never said that” Peter snapped, “Just agreed that you were being creepy.”</p><p>“Same thing” Skip sighed, “But I forgive you. I do. You’ve clearly been worried about your brothers a lot lately and I should have been more supportive. Been just as good of a friend to you as you have been to me, Petey, my special boy.”</p><p>Peter hated that he perked up a little bit at hearing Skip talk like that. He couldn’t just forget all of the bad feeling that now clouded every thought of Skip but at the same time, he needed Skip. He always had done, he probably always would do, and life was a lot easier when he had Skip to talk to. Before he knew what was what, Skip was subtly leading him by the hand through the party and into a private bathroom right at the back of the Stark Tower ballroom. They were alone. </p><p>“Richard told me you had a pretty bad seizure a few weeks back” Skip said once they stopped, “It broke my heart, thinking of you like that. All I wanted was to call or come and see you.”</p><p>“You shoulda” Peter replied quietly, it was the truth. Seeing Skip probably would have made it all seem less crushingly scary than it had done. The seizure had lasted for nearly a full twelve hours and it had taken Peter longer than normal to recover from. </p><p>“But I was still mad at you, Einstein” Skip sighed, “I was still mad at you for not trusting me and for letting me down like you did. For listening to your kid brother and his accusations that he’s too young and too immature to even understand. How could you? How could you side with him, over me? The person who has always been there for you? Ever since you were a baby, Einstein. I have loved you that long. And I thought you loved me back but-“</p><p>“I do, I do” Peter said quickly, “I’m sorry, I was an idiot. I know you were trying to be there for me and I totally screwed up.”</p><p>How was it that after less than five minutes back in Skip’s company, Peter was already back to begging him for forgiveness? And how was he already so utterly sure that he should be the one begging, that it all really was his fault? Because as he stood in that bathroom, clinging to his god father, and begging for mercy, all Peter could do was think back over the last month and a half of his life and hate himself for pushing away the one person who had always made it all easier to deal with. </p><p>He had been a bad friend.</p><p>“You did, but I forgive you” Skip said as he gathered a crying Peter up into a hug, “God, I’ve missed this, Peter. I’ve missed you so much. You’re my life. My special boy.” Peter briefly grinned but stopped just as soon as he started, as he felt Skip’s hands begin to wonder down his back and towards places they had no business being. That same familiar feeling of intense discomfort overcame Peter and he yelped and jumped back as Skip squeezed somewhere he definitely should have.</p><p>“WHAT WAS THAT?!” he screamed. Skip looked immediately panicked.</p><p>“Einstein, calm down, I was just-“</p><p>“Harley was right, you are a creep!” Peter shouted. He felt like an idiot. How was it that Skip was always able to twist his mind and his words like that? Had everything Skip ever said to him just been a lie to get close to him like that? It made him shiver inside and he was insanely grateful when the bathroom door opened and a puzzled looking Quentin Beck appeared in the doorway.</p><p>“Everything good in here?” he asked, “Heard some shouting.”</p><p>“We’re fine, Beck” Skip answered quickly but Quentin turned his attention to Peter instead.</p><p>“Peter, everything alright?” he asked.</p><p>Peter looked between the two men, feeling utterly lost over what to say. He knew that he should probably say something about Skip but it was Christmas Eve, his Mom was heavily pregnant and his brothers needed Peter to be there for them over the holidays, when their Dad could get notoriously nastier than normal. It would cause more trouble than it was worth to share, so Peter nodded.</p><p>“Fine” he squeaked, “Just-Uncle Skip walked in on me and made me jump. Sorry.”</p><p>He nervously ran his hand up and down his arm and Quentin squinted at him, clearly not believing a word Peter had said, but nodded and gestured at Peter to leave the bathroom. Without taking even one last look at his god father, Peter didn’t need to be told twice and bolted from the room. He was in a total cloud of anxiety as he waded through the party, just looking for someone, anyone, that he knew or trusted but no one seemed to be around. No Mom. No May or Ben or either of his brothers. No Richard. Not even his Dad, and Peter needed air. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Eventually, he found his way to a balcony and let the cold December air hit him and let out a deep breath before hiding his head in hands and screaming into them.</p><p>“I’m with you on that one, kid” Tony Stark’s familiar voice rang out behind Peter who turned around and saw that the billionaire had been on the balcony before him, “Sometimes a scream into the night is just what you need, I hate things like this.”</p><p>Peter sighed and didn’t answer, which made him feel rude, but Stark didn’t seem to mind as he made his way over to where Peter was looking out over the balcony.</p><p>“Something bothering you, kiddo?” he asked.</p><p>“Yeah” Peter admitted with a sigh, “Life’s hard sometimes, right?”</p><p>“It does” Tony said with a nod, “I’ve had a pretty rough year, y’know, a lot of the time I wondered if there was even any point in going on but you find meaning along the way. If you don’t mind me saying, kid, you always seem like you’ve got the weight of the world resting on those small shoulders of yours.”</p><p>Peter nodded. He guessed he did, really. But that was his lot in life, the way things just happened to be for him, who was he to try and change it? The best he could hope for now was that Skip had enough shame to stay away from him. The thought of even going near him made Peter feel sick now. </p><p>“There’s-I-life back home…I’m, err-sorry, I don’t-“ Peter stuttered before letting the tears finally gush out of him, worsened by the fact he was doing this in front of a world-famous billionaire. Stark didn’t seem to know what to do in the presence of a crying child, he stuttered a little and awkwardly patted Peter on the back as the boy continued to sob.</p><p>“I’m so bad at this shit” he said, more to himself than to Peter, “Kid, look, whatever’s going on with you, I know firsthand that you have two awesome badass women in your life who would kill for you. No lie. Mary and May, they scare me. In a good way. And they clearly adore you, whatever’s troubling you, I’m sure if you told one of them they’d be able to sort it out.”</p><p>Peter nodded. The advice didn’t really help him but it was a nice thought all the same and he appreciated that the Tony Stark was taking time out of his own Christmas party so sit and comfort little old pathetic Peter Osborne. </p><p>“Was that good advice?” Stark asked, “Did I impart wisdom? Have you at least stopped crying?”</p><p>That earned a laugh from Peter who was finally able to take his head out of his arms and gave Tony Stark what he hoped was a reassuring smile. </p><p>“Yeah, thanks, Mr. Stark” he said, trying his best to smile and he seemingly succeeded as a proud glint shone in Tony Stark’s eyes before he went back to looking out over the city at night. Peter sighed. It seemed almost like he was looking after Stark more than Stark was looking after him. Adults were so confusing sometimes. </p><p>They stayed in silence for a few more minutes. Peter needed it. Everything had been too loud, too intense inside. He knew that Beck hadn’t believed a word he’d said in the bathroom but it would take a mighty big leap for him to arrive at ‘Skip tried to touch Peter inappropriately’ and the more Peter thought about it, the more he thought he never wanted anyone to know.</p><p>Because what did it say about Peter that Skip wanted that from him? There must have been something seriously wrong with Peter. He needed to be better. He had to be better, and he never wanted to see Steven Westcott again in his life.</p><p>“Feeling better yet, kid?” Tony asked after a few minutes of silence, “Ready to make our grand re-entrance?”</p><p>“Not sure” Peter shrugged but before Tony could suggest anything else new, the door to the balcony opened and Peter whipped his head around to see his older brother breathlessly standing in its path, looking relieved that he’d managed to find Peter.</p><p>“Oh there you are!” he panted, “We’ve been looking everywhere for you, we need to go.”</p><p>“What? Why?” Peter asked in a panicked tone, assuming that they all already knew about Skip.</p><p>“We need to go” Harry said quickly, lurching forward to take Peter by the hand, “Mom’s peed herself or something I don’t really know but it means the babies coming.” And just like that, all of Peter’s worries about Skip seemed secondary. The baby was coming. On Christmas Eve. </p><p>("On my rug?!" Tony Stark asked.) </p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Thursday, 15th January 2009, Osborne Penthouse, Manhattan, New York.</em>
</p><p>Abigail Elizabeth Osborne had been born just after midnight on Christmas Day 2008 and three weeks later, she was yet to come out of hospital. Peter didn’t really know why. He’d heard Beck and his father talking about how she had some kind of blood infection and had had to be quarantined with Peter’s mother until she recovered or something. He didn’t really understand, he just knew that he’d not seen his mother since she’d been taken into the delivery room on Christmas Eve and hadn’t even met his little sister yet. May, Ben, and Norman were taking frequent trips to the hospital to visit the baby but Peter and his brothers had not yet been allowed to go. Abigail was still too poorly and apparently their mother did not want to expose the boys to how ill she was. </p><p>The boys were trying to keep positive. With their mother still in hospital, May spending seemingly every waking minute their and Norman dividing his time between the office and the hospital, only coming home seemingly to sleep and eat, the boys had more or less been left to their own devices. Ben was around a lot to make them meals but Peter and Harry were getting themselves up for school every morning and making their way to it on the subway as opposed to being driven in. Peter did not like the subway; it was too loud and crowded on a morning and he was always scared he was going to miss his stop and become separated from Harry. </p><p>In the back of his mind all of this time was Skip. Peter had finally gotten rid of the phone for good when they’d finally come home from the hospital late on Christmas Day night. He hadn’t told anyone about what Skip had tried to do to him in the bathroom but he suspected that Beck and possibly his father were aware of what happened. Harry was often wondering when Skip would be around to see them, or if he’d been to see the baby yet, and Peter’s father would clam up and change the subject whenever his best friend was brought up. Beck would look more slimy and secretive at his name as well. It made Peter feel like there was something going on that he didn’t know about.</p><p>Not that he had too much time to wallow in his own worries though as Harley was pretty much falling apart without their mother or Aunt May around. He wasn’t eating again and he was acting out during the day for Miriam, who had had to be talked out of quitting over the phone by May. It had gotten so bad that Ben was now no longer Norman’s bodyguard but just seemed to be Harley’s permanent babysitter now and even he was worn out. It was hard not to get worn out and impatient with Harley when he was like this but Peter was finding it hard to hold too much of a grudge when his little brother inevitably ended up sleeping next to him in his bed every night because he couldn’t get to sleep. </p><p>“What’re you doing, Harls?” Peter asked as he got in from school that night and found his brother and Ben working on something together at the kitchen table. </p><p>“Making a card for Abbie” Harley replied, “Dad says I can go and visit her tonight!”</p><p>Peter’s mouth practically fell open as his father, who had been sitting reading a newspaper seemingly determined to avoid the world around him as per usual, sighed and walked over. He put the paper down and surprised Peter by affectionately ruffling his hair. </p><p>“Oh” was all Peter could say, only feeling grateful that Harry would be spending the night at Johnny Storm’s house. He’d have been incredibly angry that Harley was getting to go after his behaviour lately.</p><p>“Just how it works out, kid” Ben sighed, “One at a time. Mary told us this afternoon and well….we figured you wouldn’t mind if we let Harls here go first. You know how much he’s been missing his Mom and May.”</p><p>Peter wanted to say he had as well. He wanted to say that he’d been crying himself to sleep, terrified, over the lack of his mother for weeks now and that that on top of worrying about Skip and Harley’s eating and Harry’s anger and what Beck was up to was slowly crushing him and he was sure if one more thing happened, he’d fold in on himself and die. </p><p>But then he looked at Harley.</p><p>Harley. His little brother, who had so many complex issues relating to his health and food and who really, really needed his Mom around him to cope way more than Peter did. Peter would be fine. As always. He would be just fine. He could wait his turn. He could wait. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool” Peter sighed, hoping he didn’t sound too jealous, “Just….will you give Mom a big hug from me, and Abbie a big kiss from her big brother?”</p><p>“Sure!” Harley said brightly as he finished his card, “I’m sorry that I’ve been a jerk lately. I just…I don’t like Mom not being here.”</p><p>“I know” Peter said sadly, “Me either.”</p><p>He felt his father’s hand creep on to his shoulder and squeeze it. Peter looked up at his father and saw a small smile creep across the mans face as he looked down at him. Harley hopped off his stool to go and get some things ready for his visit to the hospital, Ben following to make sure he didn’t try and sneak any technology in like he’d been warned against, leaving Peter on his own with his father. Which was something that almost never happened.</p><p>“Thank you, Peter” his dad said sounding surprisingly honest, “Harley’s been really struggling, it’s good of you to accept that we’re letting him meet your sister first. Your time will come. I promise.”</p><p>Peter nodded.</p><p>“I get it” he sighed.</p><p>“Just you and I tonight” Dad continued, “Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do for the campaign with Beck, so I’ll be in the office. Will you be OK on your own?”</p><p>Peter nodded. He was very rarely totally on his own, there was normally someone around, but he supposed that some alone wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. At the very least, he’d be able to get some homework done and get to sleep before Harley or Harry came and sought him out for comfort like most nights. Not that Peter resented his brothers but he was just very tired. So tired. </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll just do my homework in my room” Peter replied with a smile, “And I’ll just make myself a sandwich for dinner or something, I’m not really that hungry.”</p><p>“Good boy” Norman said with a smile as Harley and Ben arrived back in the kitchen, fully prepared for their trip to the hospital. Ben shot Peter an apologetic look as Harley dragged him by the hand out of the door and into the car. </p><p>Peter turned to face his Dad who shrugged, took a sip of coffee, and wished him a good night despite the fact it was only 5.30pm. It would not be a good night.</p><p>He took himself to his bedroom, as planned. Ate his sandwich, as planned. Tried to get his homework done, as planned. And then a figure had appeared at his doorway, and life would never be the same again. </p><p>*</p><p>It was dark and cold and Peter shook. He was terrified. He knew he’d never be the same again. How could he be? After what Skip had just done to him? And no one had been able to hear his screams, and no one was coming now. Peter was sitting at the foot of his bed, naked, and shivering as he tucked his knees into his chest and sobbed to himself in the dark. It had all been so quick. Over in a flash but it was something Peter knew that he would be running from for the rest of his life. </p><p>It hurt so much. Everywhere just hurt so much and Peter wasn’t even sure if he was alive anymore. The only sign he got that he was still breathing was when his body adjusted to the warmth that came as someone draped a blanket over his shoulders. Peter flinched as he was helped to his feet by someone and moved to the front of his bed, whoever it was bent down and stroked Peter’s face.</p><p>“D-Dad?” he asked, “Dad?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s me, Peter. It’s Dad.” The man replied, “I’m here.”</p><p>“Cold, Dad. Hurts. Hurts so much” Peter cried. He felt pathetic for crying in front of his Dad and he knew it would be used against him at some point. He shook his head and sobbed and was surprised as his father kept his hand planted on his cheek, brushing it with affection.</p><p>“Oh, my boy” Dad sighed, “My brave boy. You’re OK. You will be OK, Peter, I promise. This will pass. This will pass sooner than you know and everything will be bright again.”</p><p>“I-he, Uncle Skip-“ Peter cried, desperately wanting his father to understand exactly what had just happened to him even if Peter himself didn’t fully understand it. Being held down, shouted at, spat at….so much more, it was awful. It was the worst thing that had ever happened it and as much as he wanted, needed, people to understand he also never wanted to have to say it out loud. </p><p>“I know, son, I know what he’s done” Dad said sadly, “You won’t be seeing him again. I promise you that now, you will never see that man again in your life.”</p><p>“Why did he-why?” Peter cried, “It hurts Dad, it hurts so much.”</p><p>“I understand that” Dad replied, wiping some of Peter’s tears away from his eyes, “But I need you to do something for me Peter, OK?”</p><p>Peter nodded.</p><p>“Will it make me feel b-better?” he asked. </p><p>“Yes, it will” Dad replied, “I want you to go and take a shower, OK? I’m going to sort things out in here, clear your sheets away. You need to shower…..we…we need to pretend this never happened, OK?”</p><p>Peter nodded. Yes. Yes, pretend it never happened. It never happened. He would shower and be clean and everything would be OK. His Dad was here for him. His Dad was here and looking out for him for once, he was going to help Peter make everything better. </p><p>“You need to move, Peter” </p><p>“OK”</p><p>“Remember to scrub everywhere.”</p><p>“O-OK”</p><p>*</p><p>The shower didn’t help. Pretending it had never happened didn’t help. Peter was sure he’d never be able to go to sleep or shut his eyes ever again without re-living beat for beat what Skip had done to him. And he had so many questions. Why? Peter hadn’t seen or spoken to Skip since Christmas Eve, so how had the man suddenly just appeared in his doorway, shut Peter’s bedroom door behind him and then taken advantage of him in the worst possible way with no one noticing. Where had his Dad been? Was he really that wrapped up in his work that he hadn’t been able to hear Peter’s cries?</p><p>Both Peter and his Dad were trying to pretend it had never happened and one was doing a much better job of it than the other. Peter lay awake all night, able to hear his father’s snores a few doors down, apparently not troubled enough by his son’s condition to lose any sleep, whilst Peter was sure that he would never be able to sleep again. It was morning by the time Ben and Harley arrived home from the hospital and Harley bounded into Peter’s bedroom without a care in the world. </p><p>“Peter! Peter! Oh my god!” he squealed as he jumped up and down on Peter’s bed, “Peter, you should see Abbie, she is so cute! You-oh my god, she’s the cutest baby ever!”</p><p>Peter groaned as Harley jumped around him, full of sugar and excitement over his new sister, but could not bring himself to acknowledge or care. Harley seemed to realize this after a few minutes and calmed himself down, sitting beside his big brother in bed. Peter rolled over and looked away from Harley who whimpered a little and tried to pat Peter on the head whilst hugging him and resting his own head on Peter’s shoulders.</p><p>He closed his eyes. Not yet. Not now. He wasn’t ready to be touched yet. </p><p>“Don’t” he croaked, “Just-just don’t, Harley.”</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Harley asked. </p><p>“I-just-can you leave me alone please?” Peter asked. His voice was barely above a whisper but apparently Harley heard him because he was gone a few seconds later and Peter just carried on staring out of the window from his bed. The bed where…..the bed where he’d been….oh god, he’d been…raped. Peter wasn’t clueless, he knew what rape was. Rape was when one person would make another person have sex when they didn’t want to. Peter had never thought too much about it, he didn’t think that it was something that would ever happen to him. </p><p>But it had.</p><p>And it had been done by one of the people he was meant to trust most in the world. The man who had always been there for him. The man who’d called him special and made him feel smart and mature and worthy of that kind of attention and in the space of one night had proven that Peter was the exact opposite of all those things. </p><p>He wanted his Mom. He just wanted his Mom. Her hugs helped. He needed to hug her and let her hug him and she would make it all better but he couldn’t get his hug because she was in hospital, and it was more important that she stayed there for Abbie than came home to him.</p><p>He could wait. He could wait. He could wait. He could always wait. </p><p>And until then, he just stared.</p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Thursday, 22nd January 2009, Queens Hospital, New York.</em>
</p><p>Harry held his hand as they stepped into the elevator to be taken up to the maternity ward. It had been a week and Peter hadn’t said anything about what had happened to him the previous Thursday. At first, he had been perfectly content to just stay in his room and wait for the darkness to come, but then he’d managed to hear whispers of a conversation between Ben and Harry and found out that Harley was using Peter’s refusal to eat as an excuse not to eat himself. Hearing that had pretty much sprung Peter straight out of bed and down into the kitchen where he had made himself and a sulky Harley a peanut butter and jelly sandwich each and made them eat it together. He made sure he was at every meal that weekend, and slowly it made getting out of bed earlier.</p><p>His Dad was in no rush to talk to him about what happened and Peter decided that the only way he’d get through this was if he went back to school. Everyone knew something was wrong with him. Peter had always made an effort to be friendly to everyone at school and say hello and good morning to everyone he saw, even if very few of them ever said it back to him, but he’d been unable to bring himself to do that this week and he could tell his classmates and teachers were worried about him. Ned held his hand under the table in every class and no one even called them gay for doing it. Either Harry or Johnny met him outside of every class and walked with him to his next period, even if it meant they got into trouble for being late to their own classes. </p><p>Peter’s father was distancing himself once again, which stung. Gone were the smiles and affectionate touches Peter had been getting of late and the cold indifference was back in style. It really was like nothing had ever happened, the only wind of Skip that Peter had managed to catch all week was when he heard Beck say something along the lines of ‘Westcott knows the deal, he wouldn’t dare go back on it’. He didn’t even care to know what that had meant anymore. </p><p>“I love you” Harry said as the elevator began rising. </p><p>“Thank you” Peter replied blankly, “I love you, too”</p><p>“Wish you’d tell me what’s happened” Harry replied, “We always tell one another everything, Peter, you should know you can tell me.”</p><p>“Nothing to tell” Peter lied.</p><p>“I don’t believe you” Harry said sadly, “You’re not yourself. It’s like a part of you has gone missing or something, and Mom’s gonna see that the second she sees you.”</p><p>“She won’t” Peter said shaking his head, “Needs to focus on Abbie.”</p><p>“We’re all her kids, Pete” Harry sighed, “We’re all equally as important.”</p><p>That had never rung less true in all of Peter’s life. What was his pain when compared to his siblings? Harry’s face and torso were littered with new bruises, it had been a bad week for Peter’s older brother at home and he’d taken the brunt of his father’s heightened stress levels. Harley’s eating was going through its usual unhealthy patterns and he’d stopped gaining the weight that he’d needed to, and he’d been doing surprisingly good with it before Christmas. Now it was like it had never happened. Abigail was a baby and she had only just been taken out of intensive care.</p><p>Peter struggled to see how what he was going through could compare.</p><p>But he couldn’t deny that he was grateful for all the help Harry was giving him. As well as the hand holding and checking up on him throughout the day at school, Peter’s older brother had also officially opened up his bed to his two younger ones, aware that none of them were able to sleep alone at the moment so they might as well have all been in it together. At the very least, it was helping Harley sleep and Peter had managed to get a few hours in here and there since Harry came up with the idea.</p><p>It helped with the idea of touch as well. Harry hugged him a lot, so did Harley and Ben. Ben had been great as well. A constant presence and Peter felt bad that he was still lying to everyone but his Dad had convinced him that speaking out about what Skip had done to him would only add more stress to their already incredibly stressful lives and no one needed anything else to come along and get in the way. </p><p>Peter never thought his Dad was right about much. But he was right about that. </p><p>They slowly made their way down to the mother’s private room. Harley had described his entire visit to the hospital from the week before in vivid enough detail that Harry seemed to be able to find the room they needed without much effort at all. Peter let Harry take the lead as he opened the door to find Mary and May chatting with Mary still in bed whilst May occupied the seat by her bed. Peter’s heart sored the second both women came into his view and smiled their beautiful smiles at him and Harry as they saw them by the door. </p><p>“My boys” Mom said with a smile as Harry tore into the room first and hugged her tight. She laughed and kissed his cheek, “Oh Harry, it’s so good to see you, baby. You are getting so much taller; you’ll be bigger than me in a few months’ time.”</p><p>“I’ve missed you, mama” Harry mumbled into her shoulder, “Things have been-they’ve been bad at home, I’ve really missed having you around.”</p><p>“I’ll be back soon, I promise” Mom sighed. She released Harry from the hug, cupped his face and then kissed him on the cheek before looking expectantly at Peter. It wasn’t until that moment with her green eyes piercing him that Peter had realized quite how much he’d deeply missed everything about his mother in the time she’d been away. Literally everything. Her smile. Her eyes. Her hair. Her smell. Everything. It was taking all Peter had to carry on standing back and stop himself from running into her arms, arms he was no longer deserving of being handled by. </p><p>“Peter? Are you coming in, honey?” May asked after a few seconds, “Your Mama’s been looking forward to giving you a big hug all week.”</p><p>“I have honey, I really have” Mom replied, eyes glistening a little as Peter tugged his jacket sleeve over his knuckle and bounded nervously on the spot, “So, am I getting my hug?”</p><p>He couldn’t hold himself back any longer. Already crying, Peter nodded and pretty much ran into his mother’s open arms and then started to sob with all the power in his body as she closed them up and held him safe in her embrace. </p><p>“You’re safe, baby, you’re safe” she whispered to him but Peter just carried on crying. He was so undeserving of this but he needed it, needed her, so much. May draped her arms over Harry and quietly steered him out of the room, muttering something to him about going to collect Abbie and bring her back into the room to meet Peter. “You’re safe here with Momma, nothing can hurt you here.”</p><p>“Mom” Peter cried, “Mom.”</p><p>“I’m here baby, I’m here” she cooed him, “Oh, Peter. My sweet, sweet boy. I think I know what’s happened here.”</p><p>Peter sniffled. She had no idea. She can’t have had. </p><p>“I’m sorry” he whispered.</p><p>“Never apologize for having the biggest heart in the room” his Mom replied, “Peter, honey, you give so much love to the world and to everyone around you that you forget to save some for yourself. I can just see how you’ve spent the last month. Making sure everyone else is doing all right and not sparing a second thought for yourself, is that right?”</p><p>Peter shrugged.</p><p>“I bet it is” Mom continued, “Because that’s what you’re like. My lovely, selfless, brave little soldier and I love that so much about you, Peter. It makes me so proud but you have to be kind to yourself as well, Peter, you have to do what’s best for you sometimes.”</p><p>“Can’t” was all the reply that Peter could muster. </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“Not worth it.”</p><p>“You are worth it, baby” Mom said sadly, “You are.”</p><p>“Made you sad now” Peter muttered as he wiped some of his tears away, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad, I just-“</p><p>“You haven’t made me sad” Mom said lovingly, “You could never make me sad. If I’m sad, it’s because you’re clearly hurting and I haven’t been able to do anything about it. But I will. I promise you, I will make everything better, Peter. My little angel.”</p><p>“What if you can’t” he asked, for he was not sure even she could fix him now. </p><p>Before she could answer, there was movement in the doorway and Peter’s heart stopped in his chest as he looked up and saw Harry re-enter the room beaming more than Peter had ever seen him beam before, a miniscule baby girl held safely in his arms. Peter watched as Harry carefully made his way across the room, never taking his eyes off of Abbie, looking totally besotted and like he’d already accepted that his little sister had him wrapped around her tiny chubby fingers.</p><p>She took Peter’s breath away.</p><p>“Hey, Petey” Harry said as he finally reached Peter, “How would you like to meet out little sis?”</p><p>Peter grinned as he was passed his little sister for the first time and gently leaned back against his mother’s chest as she began to soothingly play with his hair. And for the first time in a week, Peter smiled. Abbie’s little finger eventually wrapped its way around Peter’s little finger on his right hand and then the tears were back.</p><p>“Damn it, why does everyone always like you the most?” Harry asked, though there was no hint of any jealousy or mocking in his question, “She already loves you the most as well, Petey.”</p><p>“Hey little girl” Peter whispered to his baby sister, “I am going to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you. Ever. That’s a promise.”</p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Sunday, 15th March 2009, Osborne Manner, Manhattan, New York.</em>
</p><p>Mom and Abbie had been home for two weeks, and a weight had lifted from Peter’s shoulders. He was still plagued by nightmares of what had occurred two months before every night but still being sandwiched between his brothers – and Johnny on occasion, he had no idea how they all managed to fit in Harry’s bed but they’d figured out an unconscious formation that suited everyone – made it all seem a little better. He was finding that positive touch was really helping him forget the negative ones. A hug from Harry, a hand hold from Harley, a bump on the shoulder from Johnny, it was all piecing him back together slowly.</p><p>Abbie was a total tonic as well. Peter didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as he loved his new baby sister. She wasn’t even three months old yet and already she was such a character, bringing joy to the house that hadn’t been there for as long as Peter could remember. Even their Dad had mellowed somewhat thanks to Abbie’s presence. He doted on the little girl and it had meant that his nasty behaviour towards the boys had pretty much stopped, it had been over a month since he’d hit Harry and he hadn’t made any digs on Harley’s weight or good intake for weeks. Not that every meal wasn’t still a battle with Harley, it was clear the damage had been done there and had really set up home in Harley’s brain. Peter hated his Dad for that. </p><p>He didn’t think about Skip much. One thing that his father had promised that night was that Peter would never have to see that man again or even hear his name, and so far that had been true. Maybe Norman discussed his former best friend once Peter had gone to bed, but the name hadn’t been uttered around Peter for over a month and he was fairly sure he could just about survive if that carried on being the case. </p><p>Of course, good things never last and it all came crashing back down around them one Saturday night when they’d sat down for dinner. An uneasy knock on the door which Ben had answered and then Peter was faced with the sight of his rapist crashing in through the front door, drunk out of his mind, and talking absolute nonsense. </p><p>“Whersh ma Petey” the man had snarled and spat at Ben, who refused to let him in any further than he already was, “Wanna shee ma Petey Pie. My Einschtein.” </p><p>Peter had ducked down in his chair, shaking his head. This couldn’t be happening. This could not be happening. He looked up at his father who stood with his jaw locked as Quentin Beck pushed past him and went to assist Ben.</p><p>“You keeping ma Petey way from me” Skip snarled when he saw Beck. It was clear that May and Peter’s mom both wanted the boys to get upstairs and away from the ugly scene that was taking place in the foyer but they would have to move through there to get to the stairs. </p><p>“You knew the conditions, Westcott” Beck snapped, “You understood and agreed. You have no right to be here after what you’ve done.”</p><p>“What’s he done?” Harry asked quietly.</p><p>“I told you, he’s gone completely off the rails” Norman said, addressing his wife, “This is why I’ve banned him from seeing the boys, and certainly from meeting Abigail. The man is having a breakdown. We cannot have him around; do you understand that now?”</p><p>“Loud and clear” Mom replied with a sigh, “He can’t come around and harass us like this, I get that, but I do still think we should get him some help if we can.”</p><p>Peter looked at his father, who looked back at him and shook his head.</p><p>“I think the man is beyond help” Norman said shortly, “Now, just you stay in here, I’m going to go and get rid of him.”</p><p>Mary nodded as Norman left the dining room and joined Ben and Beck in the hallway trying to control an increasingly loud and aggressive Skip, who was still shouting for Peter. </p><p>“I know things, Normy” Skip taunted Peter’s father, “I knowsh all the things cos I wash told by-by Richard at Christmas. I know what you doing to Petey – doing to all the boys but not Petey. Not hurting my Einstein. My special-“</p><p>He was cut off, presumably by the sound of one of the men hitting him. Peter frowned and got up out his chair, bolting out of the room and into the foyer before his mother, aunt or either of his brothers could stop him. Peter arrived to find Beck nursing his wrist as Skip lay writhing on the floor with a bloody nose. </p><p>“Petey” the man slurred as Peter came into his view, “My special boy, Petey, I’m-“</p><p>“GO AWAY” Peter shouted at the man, “JUST GO AWAY! YOU’RE SCARING EVERYONE! JUST GO AWAY AND DON’T COME BACK. I HATE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!”</p><p>Peter pushed past his father and Uncle Ben before running upstairs and immediately diving under the covers of Harry’s bed and pulling his knees up to his chest, shaking as he had done on that fateful night two months ago, but feeling weightless as opposed to hopeless this time. </p><p>He couldn’t quite tell what had happened next but Skip was removed from the property and Ben came upstairs to check on Peter. </p><p>“Damn kid, you got some pipes” the man smirked from the doorway, “Think you managed to give him a peace of your mind.”</p><p>“Just wanted him to go away” Peter muttered, “He was scaring Harley and Abbie.”</p><p>“And you, presumably?” Ben asked.</p><p>“I don’t matter” Peter replied as if it was matter-of-fact. </p><p>“Don’t talk like that, kid” Ben snapped, “I don’t know what’s going on with Westcott but please don’t let it bother you too much. Everyone’s been doing so well lately; it’d be a shame to let one thing with a guy like that ruin it.”</p><p>“He hurts people, Ben” Peter replied, looking at his Uncle, “Skip hurts people. He hurts them bad cos he makes them think they matter and then makes them know they don’t.”</p><p>Ben frowned.</p><p>“You talking about you?” he asked. </p><p>Peter didn’t reply. He didn’t want to. He never wanted to talk about Skip again, at least he knew after this that he really would never have to see Skip Westcott again. </p><p>Ben went back downstairs and didn’t come back. Around half an hour later, Peter’s brothers arrived in Harry’s bedroom armed with some DVD’s and some ice cream. Movie night. Three brothers, together, with nothing trying to come between them. </p><p>They fall asleep in a mess of tangled limbs, as was custom, and Peter slept the whole night through bar two minutes just after midnight when someone planted a kiss on his forehead. As a sleepy Peter squinted, he could just about make out that it had come from Ben Parker. He smiled.</p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Tuesday, 17th March 2009, Osborne Penthouse, Manhattan, New York.</em>
</p><p>There was a strange atmosphere in the house from the second Peter woke up that Tuesday morning. Groaning as he detached Harley’s arm from his shoulder and Harry’s from around his waist, Peter stretched as he got up and wandered into Harry’s bathroom. He brushed his teeth before heading back into his own room to quickly pick out his clothes for the day. </p><p>It was just another day, yet something felt off.</p><p>Everything seemed to be going as normal. Harley awoke next, a bundle of hyperactive excitement as he was most mornings, with Harry lazily getting up around half an hour later after May got impatient and literally ripped the covers from his bed. Breakfast had been made. Beck had made some stupid comment that made all the boys laugh at him. Abbie had cooed and looked at everything with mild fascination as she was passed around for cuddles by everyone in the house. Miriam arrived to tutor Harley and spent the first ten minutes gossiping with everyone whilst Harry ran around and tried to find his misplaced homework from the night before, all the while his latest girlfriend kept ringing his phone.</p><p>Peter felt somewhat at ease. It was domestic and nice and something that was becoming increasingly common in the Osborne household these days. He chalked it up to Abbie. He didn’t even cringe when he saw his mother give his father a quick peck on the lips before a sudden work call had the man scurrying out of the room and headed for his study.</p><p>“Where’s Ben today?” Harry asked May, “Is he still not feeling well?”</p><p>“Yeah, man flu is still rampant” May replied as she gave Harley another slice of toast which he reluctantly took when Mary gave him her trademark raised eyebrowed look. Norman popped his head back in the kitchen and gestured for her to follow him. Mary rolled her eyes and passed baby Abbie over to Miriam before following her husband out of the room.</p><p>“Can you die of man flu?” Harley asked.</p><p>“Yes” Beck replied quickly.</p><p>“How would you know, you’re not man enough to have it” May snapped, “And no you can’t, it’s just a name for when men get the sniffles but don’t want to say they’ve got the sniffles.”</p><p>Peter laughed but the mood was suddenly broken when his parents arrived back in the kitchen, both looking a bit shaken and Peter’s mom was holding back tears. The sight of that immediately made all three of her boys rush to her side and hug her. Norman let go of her hand and whispered something in Beck’s ear which caused the man to rush out of the room and grab his car keys.</p><p>“What’s happened?” Peter asked, though a part of him already knew somehow.</p><p>“This isn’t easy to say, my darlings” Mary replied as she wiped some tears away from her eyes, “That was the police that were on the phone with your father just then and well, this is some very sad and shocking news but….well, your Uncle Steven was found dead in his apartment this morning.”</p><p>Peter was aware of everyone around him reacting. Aware of the gasps. Aware of beings swooped up into a hug by his mother as she cried, it was like everything was moving in slow motion as he turned around and looked at his father who seemed like he was on a different planet. Because they both knew that Skip Westcott was not a man to mourn, and yet here they were.</p><p>Skip was dead.</p><p>Peter’s rapist was dead. </p><p>“They…they think it was murder-“</p><p>Peter screamed. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I. LOVE. CLIFFHANGERS.</p><p>Mary's up next. So you know it's a big one!</p><p>MASSIVE thank you for the increased feedback on the last chapter, it's really kept me going! So let's keep IT going!</p><p>Please leave a comment with your thoughts down below and as always,<br/>STAY SAFE,<br/>Lots of love,<br/>Jamie<br/>xxxx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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